Jamison’s Misadventures In Asia

Ryan came to visit a few weeks back.  His visit was notable for a couple of reasons; the first being that I don’t receive too many visitors here.  The second reason of note is that it had been almost an entire year since Ryan’s previous visit (he came in August for work, but that doesn’t count), which means A) he’s a negligent friend and B) we’ve been at site for a year now.  In fact, as of March 31st, I have less than a year left in my service.  Crazy.

Ryan came to Thoeng, we played guitar during the day, ate delicious food at the restaurant next door in the evening, and hit the town at night.  In all of my time in Thoeng, this occasion was my first time going out to enjoy Thoeng’s nightlife, mostly because Thoeng has no nightlife, with the exception of some establishments of ill-repute.  So Ryan and I ended up at a restaurant and bar that featured a karaoke stage and attractive women wearing go-go boots.  For some reason, there were motel rooms attached to the restaurant and the waitresses were unusually affectionate towards some of the male patrons.  We made it clear to the waitstaff that we only wanted to drink some beer and sing some karaoke.  And we did just that.

After splitting a bottle of Leo to oil up the vocal chords, we started with ‘Like A Prayer’.  Ryan and I harmonized to near perfection, bringing the crowd to their knees in awe.  I think I saw one man crying.  Needless to say, we were met with uproarious applause at song’s end.  Feeling warmed up, we jumped right into ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’.  I took the alto and Ryan the tenor for the first part, once again blending our voices in what can only be described as sonic bliss.  In the middle call-and-response part of the song, Ryan and I were in perfect synch as he took the alto and I switched to baritone.  Then, just as we were getting going with our head-banging, the song stopped abruptly.  Apparently our performance was putting the other karaoke singers to shame and they had to cut us off.

We left in haste for fear of go-go boots and mini-skirts and made our way home.  We passed another nightspot on the ride home and couldn’t resist the chance to sing Madonna again, so we did a quick encore followed by a quick exit. 

The following day, we headed to Chiang Khong, where we hired a boat driver to purchase some Beerlao for us on his next run across the Mekong.  He returned with 18 large bottles of Beerlao, and we were happy.  Beerlao puts any Thai beer to shame–so much so that the Thai Government won’t allow it into the country.  I am actually convinced that someone has created a word-of-mouth smear campaign against Beerlao because as we walked back to Bamboo Guesthouse with our beer, several Thai folk warned us that Beerlao will give us diarrhea, which I have never found to be the case.  The ubiquitous Thai brand, Beer Chang, on the other hand, is not easily forgotten the morning after a few bottles. 

While in Chiang Khong, we played some guitar on the banks of the Mekong, drank wine with my friend Mot, and awaited the arrival of Mr. Jamie Robertson (friend of Nat Miller who is the brother of Eli).  Jamie showed up at dinnertime, having taken the slowest route possible from Chiang Mai.  After we finished eating, the owner of Bamboo, Jeep, was eager to play guitar together, but our buzz was not quite at optimal level yet.  Ryan and I gave Jamie R. a physics lesson in pressure equalization called ‘The Strawpedo’ and then stopped by Mot’s cafe to pick up a bottle of wine.  With the wheels properly greased, we played until Jeep’s wife made us quiet down at 11:00.   

From Bamboo, we struck out in search of a bar, which led us to the only available option, Chiang Khong’s disco.  At the disco, I gave Jamie R. a crash-course in Thai social relations:  the more outgoing one is, the better.  We made some friends and listened to bad Thai music.  I capped the evening by jumping onstage and playing the drums–until they politely asked me to stop.  The next day, we headed home to Thoeng, hung out, played some music, and Ryan returned to his site. 

Jamie 2, as he is now referred to in my town, spent a week with me and was a great guest.  He did his best to communicate with my friends, making abundant use of superlatives, simple words, and a hint of an Eastern European accent to get the point across.  We explored all of the culinary wonders of that Thoeng has to offer, and I think Jamie 2 might have fallen in love with the cook at the restaurant next door, despite the fact that she’s a 47 year-old alcoholic in serious need of dental work.  During his week here, Jamie 2 demonstrated his prowess on the karaoke stage, the dancefloor, the badminton court, and the melodion. People in town keep asking me when he will come back.  My lady-boy hairstylist misses him dearly.

We concluded Jamie 2’s visit with a camping trip to Phu Chi Fah, a nearby mountain cliff that overlooks Laos.  We found a ride to the mountain, and as we approached the village there, we were engulfed in a cloud of smoke coming from large brushfires on either side of the road.  As we ate lunch in the village, we saw the brushfire grow and make its way towards us.   I asked some locals if this sort of thing was normal and they said not to worry, although half of the village stood on their porches watching the fire.  The fire came close to some homes, but people set fires climbing up the hill and away from the village to make a firebreak. 

Determined to go camping, we followed a trail up the hillside leading to Phu Chi Fa, with the fire making its way towards us as we climbed the hill.  This decision was not the safest choice, but we were able to keep track of the fire and had some barren ground for refuge on one side of the trail, the result of another brushfire a day or two previous.  So we made our way to Phu Chi Fa and enjoyed the view of Laos to the East as the sun set through billows of smoke to the West. 

About a half hour after we arrived, we watched the trail we had just travelled burn about 400 yards away from where we stood.  We camped on a hillside with a beautiful view of the cliff and the valley below and played music as we watched the flames consume the neighboring hilltop.  We woke to an eerie view of the valley as the sun rose beyond mountaintops peeking through the haze. 

After serenading the Hmong hilltribe folk in the trailhead parking lot, we headed back home.  In the afternoon we went to Chiang Khong, for Jamie 2 would head to Laos the following morning.  We ate a good Mexican dinner and then played music with Jeep until midnight, when his wife told us it was time to quiet down.

I have a fun couple of weeks coming up, with my brother coming to visit.  We’ll be spending Songkran in the North and meeting up in Chiang Mai with Andi, who is also visiting from the States.  Next weekend, we’ll make our way to an island for some time in the water.  I hope everyone is doing well and is supporting the A’s on their path to the World Series.